Waking Up in Kenya with Nietzsche

The fog in my head feels eerily like a hangover but I know that’s impossible because quarantine took away such mornings long ago. The daylight can no longer be ignored so with a bit of indignation I roll out of bed.

It would take too much effort to walk over to the window, so instead I stare at the walls.

Life has become a strange, repeated existence. I had no idea how dull the world could be. Walking to the kitchen, I retrace my steps: choose the coffee, grind the beans, and press a button to signal the start of a new day.

Is it a new day? These repetitive steps all merge together, the same scene played over and over. No longer frustrating, instead replaced by a complacent feeling of comfort. Dull comfort.

Quarantine has caged the animal within.  I stifle a yawn; life is no longer lived enthusiastically, but endured. Millimeter-by-millimeter these four walls close in on me.

I slump to the floor and unconsciously reach for a book nestled under a family of dust bunnies. I turn it over and close my eyes, wishing to fall back into an empty sleep.

A wave of color floods to my face. Not sure if it’s my embarrassment of the mess around my flat or the apathy engulfing my spirit. Based on my pattern of eating, sleeping, and general slothfulness, both would be correct.

Before slinging the book back underneath the shelf, I take a quick glance at the title: Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra stares back asking, “what happened to this person who lived on the edge, recklessly, always reaching higher?” Perfect.

Nietzsche.  One of the few German philosopher I enjoy reading – his ideas mesh with my lust for life. A timely find, and perhaps through Nietzsche’s words I have the chance to escape this quarantine prison. “Become who you are…” I laugh a bit at the thought. 

My mind drifts back to when I was in rhythm with life, in tune with the basic impulses that once sparked human existence. I’m back on the Maasai Mara. Waking up with the sunrise, and the mysteries of the world coming to life. I’m a newborn kid in awe of the unlimited potential at dawn.

Kenya evokes the curiosity of a child at play, savoring the simple beauty of nature. Pieces of the world adults no longer see or experience. A spirit freed from the structure of modern life. 

Nietzsche also saw the wild child as a key piece of his philosophy, the spirit of his Übermensch, the superman, who raged against the colorless and sterile trends of modern society.

“In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play…” Nietzsche wrote, the child’s ability to forget quickly and continue moving forward in time. It is the free spirit of the Übermensch, his philosophy tapping into the childlike fearlessness to discover the magic of potential.

The haze outside my window flickers and comes alive; its piercing eyes reflect the wild side of life. Inviting me to attack.

Outside my room, the Maasai Mara glows, reminding me we are born to play, to race, and fiercely compete with ourselves. Creating friction in life to stir up the soul, and here in Kenya there is a cauldron of emotions I’ve long forgotten. 

Inside my room, however, there is decadence: TV reruns, day-old pizza, an unmade bed with empty cartons of Ben & Jerry’s scattered around ~ all slices of self-destruction further sucking me into contentment, a place my free spirit fled months ago.

Inside. Outside. Black. White.

It is a little humorous. Here I am, wrapped up on the couch, comfortable in this cocoon of safety with all this technology insulating my life. Everything is a tap away on my iPhone. 

And outside a wilderness is calling. 

I reach over and pick up the book again. 

The human spirit is a complex one, a dichotomy of two desires.

  • The first desire is of order and structure, necessary to build a world where humans and technology merge, advancing society.
  • The second is a competing desire, the undeniable urge for chaos, a place where genius and creativity is born.

When one is absent, there is an imbalance and the soul is thrown into turmoil.

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star…” an ode to the necessity of exploring the forbidden in order to find brilliance.

In the Nietzschean world, it is the struggle between the Apollonian spirit of order and Dionysian spirit of chaos, and this year the Apollonian (confined spirit) is crushing the Dionysian (free spirit) ~ and it isn’t even close. 

Like an unhindered animal in nature, the spirit must be allowed to run free. 

The winds of Kenya break my thought, carrying spices of new experiences announcing the arrival of chaos, a migration to search and discover. 

The pieces of electricity we create define who we are, whether it’s living in foreign worlds or raising children and experiencing the world again from their perspective. 

Moments of bliss that move us up a higher level and remind us never stop seeking.     

Out on the Mara plains, I see the curious eyes of chaos staring back. Taunting me with the playful knowledge that this bizarre year is no reason to give in to indifference.

The beauty of Kenya taught my soul long ago to “become who you are…” and made me realize I am not at war with the world but instead searching for peace.

While my coffee grows cold, I get up and search for something clean to wear. I’ve been stuck in the mud too long. My Dionysian free spirit has returned with new dreams and I’m ready to tread on the edge of the void. 

Nietzsche and Kenya blend well together, and I’m wide awake. I slip on my shoes and prepare to step back into this brave new world. 

I place the book back on the shelf and hear the laughter of Nietzsche, his famous words pushing me out the door: “What does not kill you, makes you stronger…” 

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
Any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And
you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who’ll
decide where to go.

– Dr. Seuss

136 Comments on “Waking Up in Kenya with Nietzsche

  1. I’ve been thinking during this pandemic about how lucky we are to have this creative outlet for our doubts and wonders and uncertainties and the marvelousness of being able to connect with each other in these vulnerabilities while we’re not able to be with many (or perhaps any) of our loved ones. It’s a gift I’m cherishing. May the new year continue to bring you comfort in your reading, in your surroundings, and in your writing.

  2. Deeply moving and inspiring. What I like most is the sense of abandon and vastness the images reflect. May you reclaim your mojo!

  3. It needs some drastic change of willpower
    For someone who feels it takes too much effort to walk over to the window
    To go out and venture 🍸

  4. Hi Randall, I am late to the party here, but no matter- your storytelling with words and images bring me a moment of escape and calm. Many thoughts hit home but I love the notion that in every human there is the desire to play. The core belief as an early childhood educator. And the dichotomy of chaos and order in our lives and how we manage it. Your images are beautifully shot and bring me back to moments of freedom and joy. Warm wishes to you for a better year ahead filled with creativity, good health and happiness.

  5. Your fabulous words and pictures have set us all free to roam to a place my feet have never taken. Please tell us more.
    Best wishes for a great New Year, Charlotte

  6. Those that want to control the persons what fear the most is the heart, hope, dreams and mind, as they can fly despite our physical restrains, it was nice to fly along you in these images, a double exposure with the image set in your flat, and the other with rich tints and limitless horizons : )

  7. It is a month since you wrote this, Randall, and I hope you feel the ground under your feet again. To be confined to four walls is a challenge that requires a lot of will power. It is where I rely on my Apollonian spirit, and wish it was stronger. Kenya and your amazing photographs represent the very opposite of quarantine, and my Wild Child is yearning for freedom. Stay safe, and have a Happy New year wherever you are these days.

  8. Life has indeed been strange lately. Not much adventures. As you I have look for it in the literature, but maybe I should look up Nietzsche. It’s been decades now since I read him. Thank you for an inspiring post and wonderful images from Kenya.

  9. each photograph whispers a story all it’s own,
    i always feel your photographs as much as see them,
    Hope all is well in your world… life has been crazier than usual
    Thank You, you took me to another place tonight, it was a welcome change 🙂
    Take Care…You Matter…

  10. How wonderful, and how untrue, this last part about being able to go where we want. We’ve been limited to our tiny municipality here in Tuscany. And yet – we’ve got the sea, the medieval town on the hill, a nature reserve right here, but I’ve succumbed to dull comfort. And I read stuff and watch stuff and listen to stuff right here at home while outside the spring is being born. It could be the last one too. Just in time, this post. Hope you’re well, no more posts after this…

  11. Dear Randall, Become who you are ………. a simple sentence, yet so hard ……… your wonderful nature photos as well as the animals do not think about such things, they are simple, they live in the rhythm of nature …………. they have a lot ahead of us, more than we might think. A wonderful journey and thank you, I wish you a hopeful spring. Greetings Ariane

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